TRIP INTO THE PAST





There was to be a memorial for my dear sister in May and I decided to do the 7 hour drive to get there. Flying would take just as long because it takes an hour just to get to the airport then you wait a couple of hours once your there, yada, yada, yada... At the last minute, relatively speaking, I decided that life is too short and as I did not have a job to rush home to because tax season was over, I was going to make long overdue visits to old friends and family. I especially wanted to see my Mother's sister who was still alive, having survived breast cancer back in the 60's. A miracle that was not part of the belief system of my wonderful sibling. Her memorial was beautiful. Her 4 daughters, all the grandchildren and great grand children were there. She now lies in a plot under a tree beside one of our brothers who predeceased her.





My second stop was Toronto, a city that I lived in many years ago. A friend previously mentioned as 'Squakinbush' in earlier posts, still lived there. As day to day living can keep us so busy, I had not seen her in many years. She and her husband treated me like royalty. I lacked for nothing. My wish was their command, so we visited the 'Art Gallery', the 2 homes that I occupied while living there, we walked the boardwalk in an area called 'the Beaches', went to the movies and saw 'Startrek'. When it was time for me to head off to Montreal, I was proffered a bag of trail mix, cheese and crackers and an apple to keep me healthy and vitalized. Truly, I can't wait until my next visit. Hopefully they will come my way soon!





Next stop, Montreal. Most of my family had vacated the city where I was born in the early 80's when my father retired, but some were still there. It is still a wonderful city. Big, beautiful and bustling. The only drawback was the traffic. In a city with such a terrific transit system, it is amazing how many people are driving. An activity they do with the intention of getting to their destination as rapidly as they can, at the cost of ignoring anyone else on the road who does not move quite as decisively as themselves, i.e. tourists like me. Still I love them. I stayed with my sister in law who is no longer married to my brother, but hey, I didn't get a divorce from her. We had such a grand time catching up on life. It had been 30 years since my last visit! It was as if all that time had not elapsed. Sisters even still, stauing up all night talking! We only realized how old we had become when trying to function the next day.




AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!



Anyway, she had to work the next day, so I went to town taking photographs of all the homes I had lived in during my formative years. Gazing upon one of those homes brought back a memory long since forgotten. I lived there between the ages of 5 and 8. The memory flash was like lightning. In fact it was of Lightning! I was standing just in front of the steps to the entrance, facing the entrance, when I believed that a flash of lightning had just passed between me and the brick wall. At the time I felt very lucky that it missed me. The picture above is the home where this enlinghtning moment occurred.





This memory was forgotten once again until the other night. I was asleep when I was abruptly woken up by a very loud and sharp crack of thunder. The building was shaken. I was shaken. I realized that the entire left side of my body was tingling, as if all the molecules were excited and moving around like boiling water! At that moment the memory of me standing beside that brick wall staring at my front door grabbed hold of me again. It took about 3 days for that tingling sensation to finally subside. I must use the word subside because in fact that sensation never completely goes away. To date, all of my symtoms related to MS have been located on my left side and I really have to wonder if there is not some connection to this event on a hot summer day back in Montreal!

Time Marches On

It is March and St. Patrick's Day approaches! I am of mostly Scottish heritage but the Irish do have the feeling of kinship to me. Perhaps it's the celtic tradition. Endless knots, the Book of Kells and whiskey bind us. Guinness is grand too!

Much has happened since my last post. My sister passed away just after Christmas. At least I got to spend that holiday with her. She was stuck in the hospital. Her daughters and I did the best we could to make her feel special and we got her to smile a time or two. She is free of any pain now. We will miss her.

I have been working doing taxes for people who don't want to do it themselves. It is very interesting. I get to sit down with complete strangers and ask them a lot of nosy questions. The early season customers are those that expect a refund and of course they get one unless they have forgotten some critical obligation such as making their child support payments. Man they get disappointed in a hurry. Now I'm starting to prepare them for persons who owe money to the tax department. This comes with a little more stress as they are usually business owners or landlords. Some are more complicated than I am allowed to handle because the company wants me to have more experience under my belt first. That's okay with me but in all my years, no decades of working, I have found that hands on experience is better than book learning the subject matter. However, this summer will be dedicated to book learning the subject matter to amuch deeper level


Tai Chi is still going well. I am working on Level 5 now. Peace becomes me. I become Peace. My doctor is impressed

THE EYES HAVE IT!

I had my annual eye exam last week, and for the second year in a row the vision in my left eye has improved. That's the eye that suffered the bouts of optic neuritis in the past. I am very happy about the news that my vision in that eye is now 20/20. So the question is just what does it mean. I could go one of two ways. Could it be due to the fact that I'm in the remitting phase of relapsing remitting? Could it be that my daily regimen of Tai Chi moves and study is causing this improvement.

The last bout of vision loss was 5 years ago. The bout before that was 9 years ago. This means that the distance between episodes was 4 years and now I have gone 5 without. I had another incident 7 years ago that was not involving the eye but rather the whole side of my face. That is the event that led to my diagnosis. The numby, tingly sensation is still there as well as the hearing problem in that ear. It is easy enough to hold the phone to my other ear to avoid the excruciating pain that is felt if I hold it to the problem ear as the sound reverberates at an alarming volume. Oddly, the hearing test indicated hearing loss in that ear! BTW the use of headphones in listening to music or hemisync recordings does not bother my ear. Telephones just don't have the same sophisticated connections. Hmmm, perhaps I should try listening to music over my phone.

As it stands, I vote for the Tai Chi. There are other events that are not related to my diagnosed disorder that help me to come to this conclusion as well, but I'm not going to get into them here, as they involve my neurologists, both past and present. Time will tell. I will keep up the work out with the Tai Chi. It infuses me with spirit and peace.

REJUVENATION


It was two years to the day of my dearly departed husband's passing. The Autumnal Equinox. I think the doorway to a new season is a fitting day to leave one's earthly bounds. There were many flowers and plants at the funeral. Some I held on to, and some I gave away. My green thumb for houseplants never worked as well as the one I had for outdoor garden plants. Of all the plants that were accepted into my household, I managed to lose all but one.



But on this last autumnal equinox, two years after my love's passing, I saw a bud on that little plant. It sent a rush of euphoria through my very soul. And now four weeks later, there are four flowers in full bloom. Perhaps, it's because it is an African Violet and it thinks it is spring. Perhaps it is my late husbands way of saying that it's time for me to bloom again. At any rate, I am overjoyed!

DEAR ABBY,

I'm back home now. It was sad to leave my sister, niece and nephew but I am happy to be home. Sis seems to be feeling better, although her last chemo was the 4th and the next is this Thursday. So she'll have one good week and then it's back to no energy, no appetite, and subsequent depression as the treatment does what it is designed to do:- kick those demon cells back to hell! My niece was happy to see me too. After talking to Sis about the spa thing and learning that her daughter would not find that relaxing, my niece and I went to the local mall. We were wandering in and out of stores and in Brookstone she was taking a fancy to a new long handled massager. So a few days later, I bought it for her. She was oohing and ahing as she tried it out. Then she had to run it across my back to show me how nice it was. It just might become an accessory to my current muscle relaxant collection of aroma therapy heating/cooling pads, which, btw, double as a great bed warming device. No water or fire needed as you would have needed to heat up those old fashioned devices; just throw the pad in the microwave before tucking it under the sheets and soon you will have warm and cozy tootsies.

I've been going to night school since I became unemployed and I have a mid term test tonight. Should be great because I missed the last couple of weeks of class. I did try to keep up with the course by taking my textbook and keeping up with the reading. I'll soon know if the results are great as in good or great as in ghastly.

Got back just in time to go to a Halloween party. Here's a pic!

LADIES GET YOUR MAMMOGRAMS/IT'S BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

I'm going to visit my sister who is going through a rough spot in her battle against breast cancer. My hope is to help lift her spirits because this treatment can really drag you down. She is living with her daughter, and unfortunately it's dragging her down too. I know my sis, and she doesn't want to be a burden even in this situation, but my niece says that her Mom isn't helping matters by complaining about things that she can take care of herself before they get to the point of irritation. Things like dry skin and dry mouth that require a squirt or rub with a product that sits right there on her bedstand. My sister had a brain tumour removed two months ago and that left her temporarily paralyzed on her right side. She had gone through some physio and is now able to walk with a walker but she still can't sign her name or other intricate hand manuevers yet. I think my niece really needs a break, so I'm looking into finding her a nice spa treatment place when I get there. Knowing from experience how exasperating it is in the caregiver role, I am hoping to take some of the pressure off her shoulders too. Unfortunately, I can't be there as long as I would like because obligations on the homefront need to be taken care of on a regular basis. My bills come in the mail and are staggered throughout the course of the month. I should have set up a pay online scenario but I don't trust my ability to keep track of more passwords than I already do. There is only so much that my little brain can hold on to.

MEN, YOU BETTER GET YOUR MAMMOGRAMS TOO, BECAUSE CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, BREAST CANCER IS NOT SEXIST!

AS THE WHIRLED TURNS

So my job succumbed to economic factors, although not related to the most recent national set of events. Apparently, a very large and powerful organization seized the accounts receivables for the company that I worked for. No income, no paychecks. After 3 paydays went by without a penny received, I decided to throw in the towel. Employees weren't reporting to their scheduled locations because they needed to work some where that a paycheck could be produced in order to feed and shelter their families. Customers weren't getting the services they had contracted for, so they had to go elsewhere in order to fill their needs. Unfortunately, I think this is a small sign of things that are to come on a much grander scale.

Where do I go from here? As is my custom when faced with a road block. I put my left foot forward and my right foot out, circumnavigate the road block, that's what it's all about.

May you all have no trouble getting around the road block!