CARB's

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES

When I was somewhere between the age of 5 and 7 the school that I attended paid a tremendous amount of interest in the health of the children. Hygiene, that consisted of fingernail inspections for which I was never prepared. Being the inveterate explorer that I was meant that at every available opportunity I was digging into everything encountered, even on my morning walk to school. This of course caused me to almost always have dirty fingernails. So when the teacher started inspections I usually had to do a rapid grooming by inserting fingers into mouth. Good thing that I wasn't sitting in the front of class. Apparently there were diet interrogations about mealtimes at home that I do not remember. Perhaps these were not as stressful to my little psyche. However, it does turn out that they were very stressful to my Mom because she got called in to school and raked over the coals about my diet! I can only imagine that when they asked me what I ate, I must have told them what I liked to eat. Hotdogs, pistachio ice cream, pancakes and grilled cheese would have been on the list. I recollect going through phases where I would not eat certain things. As the granddaughter of an old dairy farmer who grew attached to his cows I can remember periods of refusing to eat any red meats! Then the event occurred where I really took a good look at a chicken leg and compared it to my arm. The skin and hair follicles looked so similar that I was suddenly refusing to eat any fowl as well. Sorry Mom as I know not what I attested to. I guess you could say that I was watching what I ate even as a youngster!